I am bad news, and I’m owning that. Anybody who’s shown interest in me in the past year and a half has gotten the complete shaft except one or two people. I’m evasive and noncommittal, giving off mixed signals because of my own indecision. I don’t call back, I don’t text the next morning, I don’t accept 2nd dates. I won’t talk of anything of consequence; instead misdirecting with inconsequential sound bytes that sound more revealing than they are. I play off interests, values, judgments, and I rarely reveal anything concrete or real except perhaps in moments of anger which I use as my excuse to run into the night and never, ever return. I’m that really sweet guy that confuses and breaks hearts by my lack of honesty within myself and the strength to be clear. Trying to sublimate horny into love, showering kisses and grinding crotches without any promise for tomorrow, or ever.
I don’t think I’m a bad person – I just think I did some shitty stuff trying to ignore my own feelings.
June 2, 2009 at 4:37 am |
At least you recognize it – that’s more than most.