Unarmed Combat

Whenever I get hit on by boys – and they are usually boys, no matter their age – but especially online I tend to find out a lot of things by not revealing much about myself. In the end, I feel like I’ve just won a battle of wits with somebody who had a rather limited arsenal.

A perfect example is how many times I’ve been chatting with a guy and we both bemoan the scumbags, the flakes, the bastards that pollute the dating scene and he says “And femmes, bleh! If I wanted to date a girl, I’d just be straight. All that primping, and the silly walk, and that high voice, gross.”

  1. My own family mistakes me for my mother on the phone. Telemarketers assume I’m a mature woman. I always get called Mrs.
  2. On my days off I spend a great deal of time doing my chores in an apron and baking bread for the week, making stew, etc. Basically, being domestic.
  3. There is a definite hip-swivelling action to the way I walk. I don’t even know how to walk any other way.
  4. I spend a wee bit of time primping in front of the mirror.

Tonight a guy said “I hate the fem lame guys!” and I decided that instead of being like “uhm, bye.” or making up some excuse not to talk to him, I said “As a fem guy, I gotta say that fem and lame do not go hand in hand.” After which followed much backpedaling and lame explanations and caveats and asssurances that I’m not at all as fem as the other guys. First of all, he does not know that. Second of all, I am not a loud queeny bitchy kind of femme but I’m definitely not very butch. Why did he do that? Because he wants in my pants or at least wants to have a chance later on. Whatever dude. That clanging sound you hear is my ass slamming shut, and ain’t nobody ever raised that porticulis.

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2 Responses to “Unarmed Combat”

  1. ladybrettashley Says:

    it’s always interesting what people will say when they don’t know what you think about the subject (or how you identify with it). also, i just love your writing =)

  2. frowzyboy Says:

    I love the candid, so I do have a small talent of letting people think they’re not being watched or of letting them feel comfortable being themselves. It’s been highly educational in many cases, and usually very intimate in a human-to-human way.

    Thank you for the compliment. 🙂

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